It’s not easy going on dates when you’ve been through a bad breakup. What’s even harder is deciding whether you’re ready to start dating again, and when you should.

There’s no one answer to this question. Different people, different situations. You have to consider multiple factors that will affect the time frame before you can date again. Here are some that you should consider when deciding whether it’s time to let go of the past and meet new people.

How long was your previous relationship? Was it only a passing fling? Did you stay together for months, years? Time is an investment. The more time you’ve invested in your previous relationship, the harder it is for you to get over it and find someone new.

Intensity of your feelings. How passionate were you about each other? Was the relationship an all-consuming love affair? Were you head over heels? The deeper you feel/felt about your ex, the harder it is to even think of finding somebody new.

Your dating experience. Was the previous relationship your very first one? If so, chances are, it’s going to take you longer than most to get over it. On the other hand, those with more experience and have had their hearts broken more than once find it a little bit easier to move on.

Unexpectedness of the breakup – did you see the breakup coming? Sometimes you know it’s on the way. You feel the distance ahead of time and are able to prepare your heart a little bit for the coming disaster. If you’re able to do that you’ll endure and be ready to move on a little faster than most people who do not have that luxury.

Kind of commitment. What type of commitment did you share in your previous relationship? Were you two living together? Were you engaged? Was it just an summer-only type of relationship? The level of commitment you had in a relationship decides how soon you can be ready for a new one. It’ll take you longer to recover when you’re dumped by your fianc rather than when it was just a holiday romance.

As you can see there are too many mitigating factors for this to be a one size fits all solution. However, there are a few questions that you can ask yourself that will help you decide whether or not you’re ready to start dating after a breakup or if you need a little more time. You’ll know when the time is right and you still might have to talk yourself into it.

Tags: Relationship Advice

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