Many people are unaware that an abusive relationship will cycle through violent episodes. Abuse happens in certain stages that can be predicted. Initially, the abusive partner will act aggressively.

Generally, the abusive behavior is exceedingly violent. In this manner, the abuser is trying to show that he is superior over his partner. This is the first trait you will spot in an abuser. There are, however, more unpleasant characteristics that are displayed. In this article, you will have a bird’s eye view of the cycle of abuse in an unhealthy relationship.

After a violent episode, the abusive partner will feel remorseful. This guilt is usually brought about by fear of repercussions, both legal and social. The feeling of remorse is seldom due to their partner’s physical condition or emotion.

The abuser will worry over what friends and family members would think if they knew what they have done, or what legal consequences could await them if they are discovered to be the culprit behind an abusive relationship. Very rarely do they find themselves feeling awful for speaking harsh words, physically harming their partner, or even imposing emotional damage upon the person that they are suppose to be in love with.

The next characteristic when it comes to the violence cycle in abusive relationships is blame, or possibly even a type of rationalization from the abuser regarding their actions. It is often challenging for an abuser to admit that they are responsible for their words, their thoughts, and their actions.

They like to think that their partners are directly responsible for the violence and abuse. In this stage, the abusive partners pass the blame from themselves to their victims. The abusive partners also now stage behavior to convince the world that they are the real victims, and not the culprits of a violent and abusive relationship.

Immediately following the stage of rationalization, and making themselves out to being a victim, the abuser will typically indulge in behaviors that are appealing. The abuser is likely to project behaviors that are within the normal range, or behaviors that their partner found appealing when agreeing to indulge in a long term commitment with them.

This is usually referred to as the “Honeymoon Phase” by mental health experts. Abuse victims are usually fooled into believing that their abusive partners have mended their ways.

The Honeymoon Phase is sadly short-lived. Shortly thereafter, the abuser will once again revert to degrading and violent behavior. The cycle of abuse then starts anew. If you or somebody you know is a victim of abuse, you should understand that it is a vicious cycle that will keep on happening unless you make a stand.

The reality is that the abuser may never change. It is too difficult for them. Help should be sought immediately in order for you, or the person that you know in an abusive relationship to recover from the devastation that has been experienced.

Tags: Relationship Advice

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