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by Liz Johnson

Letting go of an abusive partner is surprisingly one of the toughest choices that victims of abuse will eventually make. Victims are often unaware of the unhealthy turn of their relationship and tend to stay trapped in it unless concerned family members and friends bail them out.

An abuser may develop the attitude that the abuse that they are exposed to is normal, or even deserved, but it is not. If you have recently realized that you are in a relationship that is not healthy, you may be considering leaving. Here, I will provide information on leaving an abusive relationship.

If you are looking on leaving an abusive relationship, you will go through several phases. It is important to know and understand that this is normal. The first thing that you may experience is a phase where you look to rationalize the behavior of your partner.

In this phase, you think of reasons to reconcile or explain your partners abusive behavior: You have done something very wrong and deserve to be abused as a form of punishment. You also presume that your partner is plagued with problems which account for the aggressive behavior. When you are in the rationalization stage, you should allow yourself to be egotistical. Your life is your own business and your responsibility. Your partner should not make you the scapegoat for any screw-ups that occur in your relationship.

The next phase that you experience when you are considering leaving an abusive relationship is one in which you feel that you will be unable to live without your partner. This is extremely common. It is quite likely that as you have progressed through the relationship that the person who has abused you has made you dependent on them for many things.

This is a direct result of the level of control that the abuser has had over you. Abusive individuals have a knack for breaking down the emotional state of the person that they are with and then rebuilding them in the way that is most convenient to their miscalculated and irrational needs. You must realize that you are capable of moving on, and living your life without the burden of abuse and unhappiness.

Value your personal safety. Your abusive partner cannot always temper any aggressive impulses, so watch out for any type of violent behavior. The smallest problem can very well escalate to a serious and big-time abuse without your knowing.

Worry about yourself, your health and your future. Physical abuse can injure you or end your life. Psychological and emotional abuse can toss you into long-time depression. Nonphysical abuses can take a toll on your physical well-being.

When you have reached a decision to walk away, do not expect your abusive partner to be receptive of the idea. Your partner could hurt you, so make sure you draft an escape plan that involves people who can help you smoothly transition from a life of abuse to a life of safety.

Leave without a trace. Do not give your abusive partner any clue of your whereabouts. Opting out of your unhealthy relationship may no longer be so difficult if you follow these tips.

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