It’s a known fact that the very first date you have after a bad breakup is one of the most difficult – if not the most difficult – dates you’ll have after a bad breakup. It’s your most vulnerable time. Your heart is broken, your self esteem is blown to bits, and all you want is to curl up in a chair and be miserable. You need time to get over the hurt and mend what’s broken. However, you don’t need to mend alone. Going out and hanging with different people can sometimes do more for your self esteem than endless hours at a shrink.

This means the thought of going up and asking someone on a date is terrifying on some level. Can you imagine the boost to your self esteem it will be to move beyond that fear and actually ask someone out? Probably not at this point in time but eventually you’ll understand the poetry of it and what it can mean for you.

You don’t want your first date to be an effort to find the replacement love of your life. It should be an opportunity to get to know someone and decide if a next date is in the cards. Make this as “low pressure” of a date as possible to make so that you aren’t worried about rebuffs, rejections, or getting kicked to the curb as the night wears on.

More importantly, if it’s a low pressure date you’re not going to be likely to sit in your car piling on the pressure until you decide to drive away before you even ring her doorbell. The more pressure you put on yourself the more difficult it will be to go through with the date. So, how do you make the most of your first date without really piling on the pressure?

Good question.

And the great answer is simple. Have fun. Don’t think too much about anything else. Just make sure you and your date have the most fun out of the experience. Don’t drive yourself crazy choosing the right words to say, tousling your hair at just the right style, or pretending to be cooler than what you really are. You’re not doing yourself or your date any favors.

You’ll both be glad the next morning. Now it’s important to realize that what is fun for you might not be all that much fun for her so try to find a happy medium.

If you and your date are both having the best possible time, the chances of her wanting to go home as soon as possible are slim. However, if you’re both stifling yawns and counting the minutes till the date’s over, then a second date will not likely happen. The simplest of advice are usually the ones that work best. Just remember to keep your first date on the fun side, and you won’t go wrong.

Tags: Relationship Advice

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