Most of us never really learned much about how to apologize. We all know how to say “I’m sorry” of course. But beyond that, we don’t know what to do or say to seek forgiveness. When you wronged your mate and want to get your ex back, just saying I’m sorry won’t cut it.

There are much more impactful ways of apologizing, however. When you’ve been dumped by your ex for wronging them in some way, you will need to use what can be called a Power Apology.

A power apology has as many as 7 or eight steps to it. A power apology is designed to get your ex from anger or hurt to acceptance and forgiveness in just hours or sometimes even minutes. Power apologies should be taught in school, they are so useful in keeping relationships from ending. Here are the steps to a Power Apology:

The first step in a Power Apology is to own up to what you did wrong. Don’t offer a bunch of stories or try to blame your ex “you were cold to me and I was drunk!” Fessing up to what you did wrong is powerful, it lets you mate know that you understand the core problem.

The second step is to mirror their feelings. This is powerful relationship intelligence. How do you mirror their feelings? You say something like I know what I did hurt you, and made you feel betrayed, and sad. You tell your ex how what you did made them feel. Mirroring their emotional state is potent emotional intelligence. Your ex will start to feel really heard.

The third step is to let them vent. Now you let them tell you how they feel about what you did wrong. You dont argue, you dont defend yourself, you let them get their angry and hurt feelings off their chest. Your only job here is to make them feel heard and understood.

If you have followed these first three steps, you are well on your way to making an apology that will get accepted and lead to forgiveness. By this point you have not tried to blame or defend yourself to your ex for what you did wrong. You have been an adult and taken responsibility. At some level they will respect this. Then you have surprised them by mirroring their feelings, so they are feeling like you understand them. And finally, you have listened to them, let them vent and get things off their chest.

Once you have done these three things, you are now ready to actually apologize. And your apology will much more likely be accepted, which can lead your ex back into your arms fast.

Tags: Relationship Advice

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