When your partner breaks up with you, you’ll have a lot of natural impulses regarding what you feel you need to do in order to get him or her back. Let me tell you right now, a lot of what you’d do naturally is WRONG! If you EVER want to get your ex back, have a listen to what I have to say.

There are a lot of mistakes people make just on instinct when they’re faced with a situation like being dumped by somebody you’re still in love with. Some of these mistakes are worse than others, but I’ll lay out the main ones people make so that you can avoid driving deeper nails into the lid of the coffin of your relationship.

1) Jumping straight away to attack your ex with pleas of getting back together. Nearly all of us have blundered into this one at some point or another, but it’s a pretty damaging mistake. Don’t put too much pressure on your ex, it’s just going to drive him/her further away and really hurt the likelihood of salvaging the relationship. Take a break from each other, it’s surprising how healing it can be.

2) Thinking that it’s your ex’s fault. If you got dumped, the problem’s with you. I know that sounds harsh and you probably hate me right now, but keep reading. Chalk this breakup up to a learning experience, and use it to figure out what you’re doing wrong…and FIX it! So you have some issues to work out, work them out! A soulcrushing breakup can be the best thing to happen to you in your life, if only you use it as fuel to give yourself a needed renovation.

3) Winning the battle and thinking the war is over. All of your hard work getting your ex back can all be erased if you fall back into your old habits once you’re back together. The changes you made to yourself and your behavior are going to have to stick, or else you’ll start doing the same things that drove your partner away before…and with the same result.

4) Rushing things when you’re in the process of getting back together. Rebuilding a relationship is a tricky, tricky time. Going too fast before your ex is ready to really take the plunge again is just going to frighten him/her off. Your ex is GOING to worry about things not working out again, and if you’re too aggressive about getting back together, intimidation will win out over hope. Take it slow, rebuild a friendship and let love bloom again.

These are the four biggest things that can hurt your chances of getting your ex back. Now, this isn’t everything to be careful of…but these main pitfalls are the ones that have the most potential to ruin the likelihood of pulling through this struggle and coming out on top.

Never forget that in a breakup, you’re not the only person hurting. Putting too much pressure on your ex has nothing but negative effects, so don’t do it! Take things slowly, with the utmost care. It’s really the only way you’re going to have much of a shot at getting your ex back, but you can do it if you work for it!

Tags: Romance Tips

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