« How To Get A Date In The Christmas Season While Away Valentine’s Day Wearing Pajamas! »
Getting Back With Your Ex After They Cheated
Posted at Feb 26th, 2009 in Relationship Advice
What can you do when your ex cheated on you, you kicked them out, and now you want them back? This is a big problem in the area of relationships. You get mad, you feel hurt and betrayed, but after a few days or so you want your ex to come back to you.
How can you get your ex back without making them think they can cheat on you again? How can you get your ex back and keep your dignity and rebuild the love and trust you had?
What can you do? Well, there are a few very powerful steps you can take to get your ex back and keep them from cheating on you again. The first step is to have a short, special conversation with them where you set them up to listen to you. You do this by assuring them that you arent going to attack or fight with them, so they just need to listen, not argue or defend or attack.
Once you have done this, you then need to tell them how theyre cheating made you feel. You then vent all of your hurt feelings. Try not to attack, but use I Statements. I feel hurt. I feel betrayed. I feel like I cant trust you again.
You focus on communicating feelings not judgments and criticisms. The critical point is to vent your hurt feelings and to be heard by your partner. This allows you to begin to get those feelings off your chest and release them. You then have room for true forgiveness and a better relationship going forward.
Once you have vented for a while, then you can check to see if your mate understands how they made you feel. If they have empathized, if they have heard you, then you will likely feel much more ready to forgive. You then ask them if they can promise not to do that again, and if they say yes, you can explore taking them back into your life.
The key is not to attack and fight with your ex, but to create a situation where they can hear from you the pain they caused. This creates room for true forgiveness and it begins to rebuild some trust.
There is obviously a lot more to this, but just following the above few steps can make a big difference. It will take some more time to rebuild the trust, but first you have to begin to let go of the negative feelings. The important thing is that infidelity can be healed and you can end up making the relationship stronger.
Tags: Relationship Advice
Popularity: 7% [?]
