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Get Ex Back By Listening
Posted at Jul 12th, 2009 in Relationship Advice
When we want to get our ex back, we all tend to think the same kind of things. We’ve got to promise them we’ll change, we’ve got to do some fast talking, we’ve got to apologize fifty times.
One powerful method to get your ex back though, is to listen, not do all the talking. Most likely, your ex broke up with you because you wronged them in some way. Maybe you were too needy or too jealous.
Lets say your ex left you because they felt you were too jealous and controlling. You tried to know where they were at all times, you were jealous whenever they looked at someone else, that kind of thing. What happened is that their heart started to fill up with unpleasant feelings, like anger or hurt that you didn’t trust them. Eventually those feelings replaced their emotions of love and intimacy towards you. Now their heart is hardened towards you with negative feelings.
To get them back, you’ve got to help them to replace the negative emotions with positive ones. You’ve got to help them to release and resolve the negative feelings.
One powerful way to do this is through listening to them talk. You’ve heard it called venting or getting things off their chest. This is how people commonly deal with negative feelings. They have a beer or glass of wine and talk about a bad day at work or how they feel about what their boss did to them. After venting for a while, they feel better.
Venting is a way to get your ex to let go of their bad feelings towards you. Sure, you need to apologize and promise to be different in the future, and you’ve got to convince them you can change. But one of the best things to do before you apologize is to get them to vent.
Start off by asking them how what you did makes them feel. Then be a good listener. Don’t argue or defend or justify yourself. The idea is to get them to blow off steam.
If you can do this a few times and really get them to vent, you will be much better off. They may release enough negative feelings to have room to consider taking you back.
Tags: Relationship Advice
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