I had an interesting dating experience a few months back that I’d like to share with you. She was a stunning young woman, with a great personality, although she came across as very reserved. Something seemed off. She was preoccupied. Many guys I know might mistake this for some sort of scheming, but experience told me this wasn’t the case. I remained calm and found out the truth – she was a widow of a few months.

Many times, men like to show their bravado off and are ready to play a strong game with women, determined to get the upper hand in relationships. I’ll admit, I can be that way. I realized this wasn’t the time nor the place to act in that manner.

Needless to say, the whole experience was humbling, and I learned a few things that I’ll share with you.

As I mentioned above, it’s not a time to play the cut throat. You have to know that you aren’t just here for a wild fling. You’ll have to be very understanding of the situation. She isn’t trying to put a guy through the grinder, like many women do. She’s trying to feel normal, and to move on with her life. You are dealing with an emotionally wounded person, so act appropriately.

So once you know that this is the case, you have a choice as to whether or not you want to continue with the relationship. Consider what you are getting yourself into before moving in. If she has children, it can be even tougher in this situation. You won’t be a bad person for leaving her under these conditions.

If you stay with her, you’ll have to live with a few things. You won’t be able to replace the husband. Don’t even try. He was taken from her, and given that, the grieving process can be difficult and uneven. You have to allow her grief to run it’s course, no matter when it happens.

This can be tough, as any little thing can remind her of the deceased. That is why you need to make a decision and stay with it. A perfectly great night can be ruined in a moment, and there is little to be done about it.

Something else to remember is this: allow her to escape this issue, even if for a short time. Be an outlet for some fun. She’ll move on quicker, and the night will seem like any other date. Just push for fun, some excitement, but be mindful. Any don’t bring HIM up. That’s the last thing either of you wants. If she wants to talk about it, let her, and move on from the topic when you are ready.

In regards to what I’ve written above, I think it’s pretty obvious you shouldn’t try to push to get her into bed. Control of that should be hers, and hers alone. Not to say that you can’t flirt, or make her feel desired. She’ll definitely appreciate that. But she will probably need to make the next step on her own.

It will take time, but these things will change. Be understanding of her situation, but other wise, treat her like any other human being. You could end up having a wonderful relationship with her. But you will have to allow things to run their course. It will be a better situation for all parties involved.

Tags: Relationship Advice

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